coffee shop

How did I get here?

Welcoming the new year.

January 1st, 2023.

Sitting in a coffee shop almost in tears. Listening to Distance. Made to feel crazy. Stupid. Guilty. Feeling bad for myself.

Playing the victim again for a nigga that ain’t even mine.

Situationship.

Calling up friends who tell me to leave it alone. Block. Pray. Delete.

Am I desirable enough to be pursued?

Maybe I’m meant to be single.

Intrusive thoughts getting the best of me.

Am I too insecure?

Am I too forward?

I get attached easily to things and people who are no good for me. Anxious. Avoidant. Jesus.

I just want to be loved. Fully. With no strings attached. No terms and conditions. Just loved.

Do I need to love myself more?

Love God more?

Here I am.